The news in brief:
UK
not going to get a half-blood prince any time soon
Product placement masquerading as news
Slow news day? News outlet wheels out an old favourite
Headline needlessly specific
Breaking news: Nutella is not a fire hazard
Man gets new job
Buddha is worst Easter Eggs of all time
Outrage: man’s salary in-line with contractual agreement
A parent-and-child screening of what now?!
Flormite is a thing now
Man’s inhumanity to man continues apace
Russia
situation pretty fucking hairy
Pro tip: don’t stop for coffee
Medieval morality wrecks another life
Religion’s bodycount continues to mount
Everything you know is a lie
People are literally never satisfied
Gerbils will kill us all!
Best. Plague. Ever.
Seriously mainstream media?! Cyber-bullying is not cool.
MP suggests witchcraft and sorcery can help save the NHS
Two wrongs apparently make a right now?!
Entire country is a very sore loser
Man’s life is ruined by lying, cheating bitch-queen
Children invent horse-periscope
Nudes in brief: Charlotte Crosby
And finally: Total Recall girl is totally making it up
Reading the news so
you don’t have to…
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