The news in brief 2nd February 2015

The news in brief:

Mother forgets how to person

Pro tip: onsies are inside clothes

Pixelated hair is apparently a thing now

Outrage as rules applied even-handedly

Political party gets lesson in irony

When busses attack!

Study states the obvious: scientists have too much time on their hands

Religion’s bodycount continues to mount

Shock: movie based on sex-book all about sex

Research suggests that you have to pay for things

Economy a bit shit

Man’s inhumanity to man continues apace

Stop the press: cauliflower is good for you

Insurance company spends $4,000,000 dollars to spread important message

Football fans not happy at insurance company for spreading important message

Seriously, you stupid bellends, stop fucking about near trains!

In fairness, sharks aren’t renowned for their dancing…

Beating your kids in not fucking okay

Bunnies can get depressed too

Bear is smarter than… the average bear? I hope that’s not a trademark.

Bodyshaming is apparently news now

Nudes in brief: Heather Graham

And finally: teenager with cancer lives long enough to take his sweetheart to the prom    

Reading the news so you don’t have to…