The news in brief:
Child has ridiculous name
Media's war against teachers continues
Bureaucrats take lunches from school children
Ironic Facebook post
Nudes in brief: Shakira and Rihanna
Tweets not to be taken literally
The Internet is evil
Weather still wintery
Peanut allergy defeated - by peanuts
Religion's bodycount continues to mount
Teachers can totally work more hours
Kids don't need to see their families
Shock as liberal opposes limit to personal freedom
Soft drink causes upset
Paparazzi don't know who everyone is
Survey states the obvious
Man's inhumanity to man continues apace
Media reinforces gender stereotypes
Innocent man gets job
Minority (and totally awesome) subculture fights back
General public has no sense of humour
Breakfast is good for you
Paranoid ramblings presented as facts
78% of benefits claimants DON'T have a criminal record
Diana Watch 2014: still dead (crackpot theories not included)
Reading the news so you don't have to....
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