The news in brief horoscope
special:
Aries: Think you’re stressed now? It’s only going to get
worse!
Taurus: Get some perspective, you little Drama Queen!
Gemini: This ain’t no damned movie, this is real life!
Cancer: Cheer up Saggy Pants, worse things happen at sea.
Leo: Keep your eyes on the prize, Slugger
Virgo: Things are better when you work as a team.
Libra: Forget your plans and just wing it
Scorpio: Life is fucked up right now. But you’ll enjoy it
Sagittarius: Stop pushing your luck, you jammy git
Capricorn: You are stronger than you think!
Aquarius: Fear is all in your mind, take a deep breath
Pisces: Change is as good as a holiday
Reading the news so
you don’t have to…
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