The news in brief:
Politicians promise not to lie (if you vote them in)
Lowlands near rivers 'more prone to flooding'
Religion's bodycount continues to mount
Dolphins are totally stoners, man
Rural areas are a bit harder to get to
Perfectly good graph ignored in favour of reactionary outrage
Celebrity sick of people bleating about their first world problems
Newspaper squeezes every stereotype going into one headline
Who 'ya gonna call?
Diana Watch: still dead
Traumatic footage used in music video
Campaign for common sense misunderstood
Carbohydrates are EVIL!
Halloumi cheese doesn't even taste like chicken
£25 fine becomes £300 if you act like a wanker in court
Duct tape fixes everything
Nudes in brief: Amy Childs
Woman has huge arse
Reading the news so you don't have to...
image
Monday, 30 December 2013
Sunday, 29 December 2013
The news in brief 29th December 2013
The news in brief celebrity special:
Person's weight fluctuates
Outrage as frail old lady doesn't spend too long on her feet
Anonymous internet bastards are bastards
Man wears coat
People's Instagram pictures are news now?!
Paparazzi intrude on family shopping trip
Moody teenager's social media sparks wild, unfounded speculation
Paparazzi intrudes on friends having fun
Woman conforms to media's narrow definition of beauty
Person gets better job
Boy gets dog
Man walk in park with son
Woman wears swimsuit
Singer fails to look photogenic 100% of the time
Performer performs at performance
Woman drinks beverage near a man!
Woman wears skirt
Paparazzi catches actress wearing hat and sunglasses (shock horror)
Actress pops to the shops
Man drinks coffee
Reading this shit so you don't have to...
Person's weight fluctuates
Outrage as frail old lady doesn't spend too long on her feet
Anonymous internet bastards are bastards
Man wears coat
People's Instagram pictures are news now?!
Paparazzi intrude on family shopping trip
Moody teenager's social media sparks wild, unfounded speculation
Paparazzi intrudes on friends having fun
Woman conforms to media's narrow definition of beauty
Person gets better job
Boy gets dog
Man walk in park with son
Woman wears swimsuit
Singer fails to look photogenic 100% of the time
Performer performs at performance
Woman drinks beverage near a man!
Woman wears skirt
Paparazzi catches actress wearing hat and sunglasses (shock horror)
Actress pops to the shops
Man drinks coffee
Reading this shit so you don't have to...
Saturday, 28 December 2013
The news in brief 28th December 2013
The news in brief Horoscope special:
Aries: Chill the fuck out
Taurus: You need a holiday
Gemini: Stop spending money, bitch
Cancer: You gonna get some sexy time
Leo: Chill the fuck out; you need a holiday
Virgo: You gonna get some sexy time, but stop spending money, bitch
Libra: You need a holiday, but keep an eye on the old folk
Scorpio: Chill the fuck out
Sagittarius: Chill the fuck out
Capricorn: Chill the fuck out
Aquarius: Put down the fork
Pisces: Stop chilling the fuck out
Reading the horoscopes so you don't have to...
Aries: Chill the fuck out
Taurus: You need a holiday
Gemini: Stop spending money, bitch
Cancer: You gonna get some sexy time
Leo: Chill the fuck out; you need a holiday
Virgo: You gonna get some sexy time, but stop spending money, bitch
Libra: You need a holiday, but keep an eye on the old folk
Scorpio: Chill the fuck out
Sagittarius: Chill the fuck out
Capricorn: Chill the fuck out
Aquarius: Put down the fork
Pisces: Stop chilling the fuck out
Reading the horoscopes so you don't have to...
Thursday, 26 December 2013
Breaking news
Breaking news: woman doesn't understand the meaning of Christmas, money management or personal responsibility
Wednesday, 25 December 2013
Breaking news
Breaking news: Peace on Earth and Goodwill to all men shattered by now-traditional Yuletide bombing :(
Tuesday, 24 December 2013
Monday, 23 December 2013
The news in brief 23rd December 2013
The news in brief:
Newspaper prints horror story without printing all the facts
Outrage as the British public believes everything it reads
Consumers boycott popular department store for no good reason
News websites go mental with knee-jerk hate-mongering comments
News in Brief editor contacts shop directly to get the straight dope
News in Brief wonders what the real journalists are smoking
Mainstream media gets its shit together 24 hours later
Department store offers public apology for one teeny-weeny mistake. In one shop. Once
Media and public don't apologise to shop for being reactionary, xenophobic sheep
In other news:
Male dog has testicles
Reading the news so you don't have to...
Newspaper prints horror story without printing all the facts
Outrage as the British public believes everything it reads
Consumers boycott popular department store for no good reason
News websites go mental with knee-jerk hate-mongering comments
News in Brief editor contacts shop directly to get the straight dope
News in Brief wonders what the real journalists are smoking
Mainstream media gets its shit together 24 hours later
Department store offers public apology for one teeny-weeny mistake. In one shop. Once
Media and public don't apologise to shop for being reactionary, xenophobic sheep
In other news:
Male dog has testicles
Reading the news so you don't have to...
Sunday, 22 December 2013
The news in brief 22nd December 2013
The news in brief celebrity special:
Zombie cook
Human being eats junk food whilst miserable
Man buys wife FLOWERS!
Woman celebrates with a tipple
Most popular song tops popular chart
Couple gets married
Woman wears sexy clothes to nightclub
Paparazzi intrudes on woman's privacy
Woman wears bikini AT THE BEACH!
Runner-up looks disappointed
Photo of couple smiling
Divorce is somehow our business
Woman is 48
Woman conforms to media's narrow definition of beauty
Singer buys product available on the highstreet
Actress wears trousers
Celebrity spends money as she sees fit
Unfounded speculation about a couple who may or may not be still together
Paparazzi haven't caught couple in a while
Woman changes her hair
Celebrity goes within 10 feet of dance partner
Woman gets taxi!
Woman has nipples
Man wears jumper
Keeping the Sunday papers in business, so you don't have to...
Zombie cook
Human being eats junk food whilst miserable
Man buys wife FLOWERS!
Woman celebrates with a tipple
Most popular song tops popular chart
Couple gets married
Woman wears sexy clothes to nightclub
Paparazzi intrudes on woman's privacy
Woman wears bikini AT THE BEACH!
Runner-up looks disappointed
Photo of couple smiling
Divorce is somehow our business
Woman is 48
Woman conforms to media's narrow definition of beauty
Singer buys product available on the highstreet
Actress wears trousers
Celebrity spends money as she sees fit
Unfounded speculation about a couple who may or may not be still together
Paparazzi haven't caught couple in a while
Woman changes her hair
Celebrity goes within 10 feet of dance partner
Woman gets taxi!
Woman has nipples
Man wears jumper
Keeping the Sunday papers in business, so you don't have to...
Saturday, 21 December 2013
The news in brief 21st December 2013
The news in brief Christmas countdown #6
Outrage as most popular song looks set to be number 1
'Black Eyed Friday' sees Alcohol Recovery Centres and extra police on the streets
Shoppers push, crush and shove each other in mad panic
January Sales start today - people who already bought stuff demand refunds
Consume!
Pogues, Mariah Carey and Wizzard return to the charts (shock horror)
Families hate each other
Chefs make giant cake
We might have some weather
e-cards are officially shit
If you're not going to write a personal message, don't fucking bother (suggest etiquette expert)
Post office states the fucking obvious
Reindeer rescued from inferno
Doctor Who's going to be on
Reading the Christmas news so you don't have to...
Outrage as most popular song looks set to be number 1
'Black Eyed Friday' sees Alcohol Recovery Centres and extra police on the streets
Shoppers push, crush and shove each other in mad panic
January Sales start today - people who already bought stuff demand refunds
Consume!
Pogues, Mariah Carey and Wizzard return to the charts (shock horror)
Families hate each other
Chefs make giant cake
We might have some weather
e-cards are officially shit
If you're not going to write a personal message, don't fucking bother (suggest etiquette expert)
Post office states the fucking obvious
Reindeer rescued from inferno
Doctor Who's going to be on
Reading the Christmas news so you don't have to...
Friday, 20 December 2013
The news in brief 20th December 2013
The news in brief:
Newspaper publishes details from intimate conversation - but hey, they didn't do the hacking, right?!
Newspaper is dirty hypocrite
Vince and Boris on course for showdown throwdown
Uganda outlaws miniskirts
Government initiative scores own goal
Pornography allowed. Education banned
Bilbo is definitely a dude - we checked
Uganda outlaws normal human activity
Religion's bodycount continues to mount
Rogue state threatens South with 80's technology
South questions who even has a fax machine these days?
New study gives the anxious something to worry about
Being an incorrigible rogue is now legal
Nudes in brief: Candice Swanepoel
Newspaper considers celebrity gossip more newsworthy than human lives
Diana watch: conspiracy dismissed (for now)
Man's opinion regurgitated as fact
Politics is complicated
Reading the news so you don't have to...
Breaking news
News in brief exclusive: supermarket sells Christmas turkeys with Use By Dates of 21st, 22nd, 23rd and 24th December.
Thursday, 19 December 2013
The news in brief 19th December 2013
The news in brief 19th December 2013:
EU shoots giant camera into space
Religion's bodycount continues to mount
Convicted murderer still pleading 'not guilty'
London is apparently the only city in the United Kingdom
Sick fucks buy t-shirts
Gatwick and Heathrow are the only airports in Great Britain
Baby-faced pop weasel retires from the music biz
Two older black guys look nothing like each other
Council offends 17,000 families
MP buries head in the sand
Politician says Mean Things on the Internet
Charity founder calls for return of dark age morality
Club card gets it a bit wrong
Passive smoking DOESN'T give you cancer now
Diana Watch: still dead
Seaweed is good for you
Church executes Christmas elf
Terrible calendar is terrible
Nudes in brief: Sheridan Smith
Baby-faced pop weasel was only joking
Former pop star with similar name is NOT a paedophile
Jennifer Lawrence discusses butt plugs
Dirty fuckers spoil nice park
Reading the news so you don't have to...
EU shoots giant camera into space
Religion's bodycount continues to mount
Convicted murderer still pleading 'not guilty'
London is apparently the only city in the United Kingdom
Sick fucks buy t-shirts
Gatwick and Heathrow are the only airports in Great Britain
Baby-faced pop weasel retires from the music biz
Two older black guys look nothing like each other
Council offends 17,000 families
MP buries head in the sand
Politician says Mean Things on the Internet
Charity founder calls for return of dark age morality
Club card gets it a bit wrong
Passive smoking DOESN'T give you cancer now
Diana Watch: still dead
Seaweed is good for you
Church executes Christmas elf
Terrible calendar is terrible
Nudes in brief: Sheridan Smith
Baby-faced pop weasel was only joking
Former pop star with similar name is NOT a paedophile
Jennifer Lawrence discusses butt plugs
Dirty fuckers spoil nice park
Reading the news so you don't have to...
Breaking News
Apparently last night's The News in Brief
wasn't funny. I thought it was hilarious, but that's not always a good
barometer. I blame this entirely on my 'editor' going to bed early.
To make up for it, here is a special Breaking News from #tNiB's guest correspondent Sam Abboud:
Breaking News: Redneck 'personality' with redneck reality TV show says redneck thing about people that rednecks say redneck things about.
To make up for it, here is a special Breaking News from #tNiB's guest correspondent Sam Abboud:
Breaking News: Redneck 'personality' with redneck reality TV show says redneck thing about people that rednecks say redneck things about.
Wednesday, 18 December 2013
The news in brief 18th December 2013
Breaking news: EU will not be happy until all cigarettes are sold in plain, nondescript, tar-filled, diseased lungs.
Tuesday, 17 December 2013
The news in brief 17th December 2013
The news in brief Christmas countdown #5:
Milton Keynes' Winter Wonderland is shit.
Shit reindeer
Shit costumes
Shit Santa
Shit ice rink
Actual factual shit
Charity backers get off at Gateshead
Tickets refunded
The end
Reading the news so you don't have to...
Milton Keynes' Winter Wonderland is shit.
Shit reindeer
Shit costumes
Shit Santa
Shit ice rink
Actual factual shit
Charity backers get off at Gateshead
Tickets refunded
The end
Reading the news so you don't have to...
Breaking news
Breaking news: 'I'm not guilty of stealing from her, but I did find incriminating money in her purse.' Wait, what?!
Monday, 16 December 2013
The news in brief 16 December 2013:
The news in brief celebrity special:
Woman runs on beach
Man boffs older lady
Two people go near each other in nightclub
Woman wears hat
Man has female friends
Woman wears dress AT WORK
Wedding happened
Sugar daddy states the obvious
Model wears fashion item
Man and woman drink COFFEE in the STREET
Crazy celebrity acts the same as always
Singer gets a bit nude
0.004% of viewers offended
Paparazzi intrude on family outing
Nudes in brief: Magnum PI's daughter?!
Newspaper doesn't like woman's dress
Somebody won the X factor
Newspaper doesn't have a clue about animation industry
Dog back from the dead
Blimey - they actually are the SAME dress this time!
Mad dress fails to hide ropey vocals
Reading this shit so you don't have to...
Woman runs on beach
Man boffs older lady
Two people go near each other in nightclub
Woman wears hat
Man has female friends
Woman wears dress AT WORK
Wedding happened
Sugar daddy states the obvious
Model wears fashion item
Man and woman drink COFFEE in the STREET
Crazy celebrity acts the same as always
Singer gets a bit nude
0.004% of viewers offended
Paparazzi intrude on family outing
Nudes in brief: Magnum PI's daughter?!
Newspaper doesn't like woman's dress
Somebody won the X factor
Newspaper doesn't have a clue about animation industry
Dog back from the dead
Blimey - they actually are the SAME dress this time!
Mad dress fails to hide ropey vocals
Reading this shit so you don't have to...
Saturday, 14 December 2013
Thursday, 12 December 2013
The news in brief 12th December 2013
The news in brief totally hilarious/offensive special:
Translator doesn't actually know sign language
Reading the news so you don't have to...
Translator doesn't actually know sign language
Reading the news so you don't have to...
Wednesday, 11 December 2013
The news in brief 11th December 2013
The news in brief:
Today's date is 11.12.13 - Internet crashes under weight of psychos, sadacts and conspiracy theorists
Chinese government are masters of spin
Outrage as people celebrate at celebration
Religion's bodycount continues to mount
BBC airs HOURS of live footage of people walking to church
India reverts to stone age beliefs
MP shows you can prove anything with statistics
Crazy fucknut weirdo whackjobs win moral victory
More wintery weather predicted for December, January and February
Pot calls kettle black
Parents blame teachers
Teachers blames parents
Ofsted blames children
Diana Watch: still making headlines in the Indian Times...
Newspaper puzzle punks its owner
Baker is a total homophobe
Newspaper demands the government takes over parenting
Judge reinforces sexist stereotype that all men are predators and all women are victims
Nudes in brief: holy shit, it's a dude today!
Reading the news so you don't have to...
Tuesday, 10 December 2013
The news in brief 10th December 2013
The news in brief:
Ministers want NHS to play God
Mother admits to being selfish bitch LIVE ON AIR
Charity in bed with tobacco, alcohol and weapons companies
MP suggests business should pay its staff
Selfie offends the world
PM likes celebrity cook
Man jailed for boob fraud
Woman with disposable income spends money
Religion's bodycount continues to mount
Woman eats lunch
Diana Watch: 'still dead'
Teenager's jolly jape offends prudes
Nerds make not unreasonable demand
Thrill-seekers make stupid decisions
Outrage as rules applied equally
Darwin awards recognise new winner
Nudes in brief: Courtney Stodden (again?!)
More wintery weather due this winter
Gays can always be wrong too (at long last)
Disney makes cartoons
Reading the news so you don't have to...
Ministers want NHS to play God
Mother admits to being selfish bitch LIVE ON AIR
Charity in bed with tobacco, alcohol and weapons companies
MP suggests business should pay its staff
Selfie offends the world
PM likes celebrity cook
Man jailed for boob fraud
Woman with disposable income spends money
Religion's bodycount continues to mount
Woman eats lunch
Diana Watch: 'still dead'
Teenager's jolly jape offends prudes
Nerds make not unreasonable demand
Thrill-seekers make stupid decisions
Outrage as rules applied equally
Darwin awards recognise new winner
Nudes in brief: Courtney Stodden (again?!)
More wintery weather due this winter
Gays can always be wrong too (at long last)
Disney makes cartoons
Reading the news so you don't have to...
Monday, 9 December 2013
The news in brief 9th December 2013
The news in brief:
Two different women wear same affordable fashion item.
Celebrity panellist harps on about poverty (whilst advertising payday loans)
Celebrity panellist harps on about poverty (whilst advertising a buy now pay later catalogue)
Chancellor singlehandedly destroys novelty Tax Disk holder industry
Public still upset that they got exactly what they asked for
Some people are devious thieving c*nts
Religion's bodycount continues to mount
Diana Watch: friend suggests people should let her be
Hilariously offensive sign is hilariously offensive
London is apparently the only city in the United Kingdom
Testimony surprises no-one
This is a local shop for local people
Whining to the press: 1 Parental responsibility: 0
Darwin award awarded
UKIP MEP has sense of humour
Supermarket can't win for trying
Nudes in brief: Katy Perry
Man has excellent friends
Older person has old time-y beliefs
Attention-seeking hyperbitch at it again
Reading the news so you don't have to...
Sunday, 8 December 2013
The news in brief 8th December 2013
The news in brief celebrity special:
Musician offends the entire civilised world
Singer wears slutty dress
Man gets off plane
Couple may or may not have wedding plans
Woman changes her hair
Celebrity wears skirt
Crazy singer does nothing out of the ordinary
Celebrity split official now it's on Facebook
Singer removes her shoes
Man takes his shirt off
Woman with disposable income goes shopping
Scandal as woman smokes a cigarette
Pregnant woman wears maternity clothes
Woman walks her dog
Suspected pricks acts like a prick (allegedly)
Pregnant woman doesn't wear maternity clothes
Newspaper stretches the definition of the word 'sexy'
Different singer also wears dress
Paparazzi intrude on family outing
Newspaper will judge you, no matter your bodyshape
Photographers stalk celebrities and their infant children
Media thinks child's Sesame Street bag is our business
Pop-harlot grinds against SANTA CLAUS
Reading this shit so you don't have to...
Musician offends the entire civilised world
Singer wears slutty dress
Man gets off plane
Couple may or may not have wedding plans
Woman changes her hair
Celebrity wears skirt
Crazy singer does nothing out of the ordinary
Celebrity split official now it's on Facebook
Singer removes her shoes
Man takes his shirt off
Woman with disposable income goes shopping
Scandal as woman smokes a cigarette
Pregnant woman wears maternity clothes
Woman walks her dog
Suspected pricks acts like a prick (allegedly)
Pregnant woman doesn't wear maternity clothes
Newspaper stretches the definition of the word 'sexy'
Different singer also wears dress
Paparazzi intrude on family outing
Newspaper will judge you, no matter your bodyshape
Photographers stalk celebrities and their infant children
Media thinks child's Sesame Street bag is our business
Pop-harlot grinds against SANTA CLAUS
Reading this shit so you don't have to...
Friday, 6 December 2013
The news in brief 6th December 2013:
The news in brief:
World marks the passing of Nelson Mandela
Weather a bit wintery
Teams are picked for the International Soccerball playoffs
Law applied evenly
Media doesn't fancy England's chances
Religion's bodycount continues to mount
Government not so good with the numbers
Woman does her job
Attention-seeking hyperbitch makes unfounded accusations
Religious fanatics can't stop hand-holding
Celebrity doesn't live up to media's narrow definition of beauty
Man condemned for pointing out the truth
Law not applied evenly
Research states the obvious
Diana Watch 6th December 2013: headline seems to suggest Diana constructed newsreader
Research proves what we suspected all along
Singer acts perfectly in character
US creates more killer warbots (sort of)
Reading the news so you don't have to...
World marks the passing of Nelson Mandela
Weather a bit wintery
Teams are picked for the International Soccerball playoffs
Law applied evenly
Media doesn't fancy England's chances
Religion's bodycount continues to mount
Government not so good with the numbers
Woman does her job
Attention-seeking hyperbitch makes unfounded accusations
Religious fanatics can't stop hand-holding
Celebrity doesn't live up to media's narrow definition of beauty
Man condemned for pointing out the truth
Law not applied evenly
Research states the obvious
Diana Watch 6th December 2013: headline seems to suggest Diana constructed newsreader
Research proves what we suspected all along
Singer acts perfectly in character
US creates more killer warbots (sort of)
Reading the news so you don't have to...
Thursday, 5 December 2013
Wednesday, 4 December 2013
The news in brief 4th December 2013
The news in brief:
More spending cuts ahoy!
Celebrity cook admits to a bit of the ol' charlie horse
Wintery weather to hit this winter
Public designs shit flags
'Alleged' killer pretty much confesses (but still pleads not guilty)
Religion's bodycount continues to mount
New consoles go all Teletubby on us
(Santa's going to get the blame again)
Newspaper celebrates conformity to social expectations
People like their gadgets
Sick old man still not dead yet
Water found on distant planets
Exo-planets have shit names
First world problem resolved
Attention seeking hyperbitch gets buckets of hate mail
Attention seeking hyperbitch for Prime Minister
Family takes naff Christmas card picture
Nudes in brief: Sam Faiers
Diana Watch 4th December 2013: still pretty much dead
No really, bitch stop fucking
Athlete happy that we're happy for him
Blurry shadow probably not a ghost
Work until you're 70 (maybe)
Reading the news so you don't have to...
More spending cuts ahoy!
Celebrity cook admits to a bit of the ol' charlie horse
Wintery weather to hit this winter
Public designs shit flags
'Alleged' killer pretty much confesses (but still pleads not guilty)
Religion's bodycount continues to mount
New consoles go all Teletubby on us
(Santa's going to get the blame again)
Newspaper celebrates conformity to social expectations
People like their gadgets
Sick old man still not dead yet
Water found on distant planets
Exo-planets have shit names
First world problem resolved
Attention seeking hyperbitch gets buckets of hate mail
Attention seeking hyperbitch for Prime Minister
Family takes naff Christmas card picture
Nudes in brief: Sam Faiers
Diana Watch 4th December 2013: still pretty much dead
No really, bitch stop fucking
Athlete happy that we're happy for him
Blurry shadow probably not a ghost
Work until you're 70 (maybe)
Reading the news so you don't have to...
Tuesday, 3 December 2013
The news in brief 3rd December 2013:
The news in brief:
Family reuses hat
Woman wears the same dress twice
Celebrity Deathmatch: The Doctor vs Coronation Street
Spies do underhanded stuff
Religion's bodycount continues to mount
Woman comes into some money
Shock: Tall people have deeper voices
Scientists uncover the bloody obvious
Racy advert shown AFTER watershed
Misleading headline implicates innocent shop
Diana Watch 3rd December 2013: sold a dress from beyond the grave
Nudes in brief: University netball team, Gillian Anderson, an eel
Man stares gift horse square in the mouth
Meaningless headline contains no actual information
Attention seeking hyperbitch might have crossed a line
Performers to perform at performance
Shop not guilty
Doctors to gather in London to discuss a cure for homosexuality
Doctors presumably want cure for brown eyes, lefthandedness and feet
Child's private life is apparently our business
Red top paper in the shit
Potty mouthed news pundit suggest parents to fucking blame
Wintery weather forecast
Reading the news so you don't have to...
Family reuses hat
Woman wears the same dress twice
Celebrity Deathmatch: The Doctor vs Coronation Street
Spies do underhanded stuff
Religion's bodycount continues to mount
Woman comes into some money
Shock: Tall people have deeper voices
Scientists uncover the bloody obvious
Racy advert shown AFTER watershed
Misleading headline implicates innocent shop
Diana Watch 3rd December 2013: sold a dress from beyond the grave
Nudes in brief: University netball team, Gillian Anderson, an eel
Man stares gift horse square in the mouth
Meaningless headline contains no actual information
Attention seeking hyperbitch might have crossed a line
Performers to perform at performance
Shop not guilty
Doctors to gather in London to discuss a cure for homosexuality
Doctors presumably want cure for brown eyes, lefthandedness and feet
Child's private life is apparently our business
Red top paper in the shit
Potty mouthed news pundit suggest parents to fucking blame
Wintery weather forecast
Reading the news so you don't have to...
Monday, 2 December 2013
The news in brief 2nd December 2013
The news in brief:
Outrage as chef accurately describes mascot
Attention seeking hyperbitch slags off Scotland
Wedding party stretches the definition of 'lookalike'
10% of men are shit at Christmas
90% of men who are not shit apparently not news worthy
Diana Watch 2nd December 2013: still making the front page (and dead)
Bitch stop fucking
Supermarket sells food
Amazon unveils delivery drones
Religion's bodycount continues to mount
Energy prices set to come down (a bit)
Athlete is into the dudes
Croatians not happy with shitty new law
Bulgaria not that fussed about the UK
Judge makes poor decision
Twitter a bit more liberal than real life
Shops create self-fulfilling prophecy
Newspaper columnist suggests it is sometimes okay to sedate a woman and forcibly remove her unborn child...
The nudes in brief: That naked chick from the blurred lines video
Snow forecast FOR DECEMBER
Reading the news so you don't have to...
Outrage as chef accurately describes mascot
Attention seeking hyperbitch slags off Scotland
Wedding party stretches the definition of 'lookalike'
10% of men are shit at Christmas
90% of men who are not shit apparently not news worthy
Diana Watch 2nd December 2013: still making the front page (and dead)
Bitch stop fucking
Supermarket sells food
Amazon unveils delivery drones
Religion's bodycount continues to mount
Energy prices set to come down (a bit)
Athlete is into the dudes
Croatians not happy with shitty new law
Bulgaria not that fussed about the UK
Judge makes poor decision
Twitter a bit more liberal than real life
Shops create self-fulfilling prophecy
Newspaper columnist suggests it is sometimes okay to sedate a woman and forcibly remove her unborn child...
The nudes in brief: That naked chick from the blurred lines video
Snow forecast FOR DECEMBER
Reading the news so you don't have to...
Sunday, 1 December 2013
The news in brief 1st December 2013
The news in brief celebrity special:
Man with obscene amount of money dresses nicely
Man with less money also dresses nicely
Celebrity couple not dressed nicely
Actress wears clothes
Model doesn't
Internet grieves for tragic celebrity death
Internet doesn't give a shit about less famous guy
Woman wears dress
Singer sorry for tossy comments
Breaking news: Women wear swimsuits
Actress gets some shopping in
Shock: Recently separated husband DOESN'T wear wedding ring
Woman wears lipstick
Newspaper makes wild speculation about celebrity's private life
Woman DOESN'T live up to media's narrow definition of beauty
Woman DOES live up to media's narrow definition of beauty
Paparazzi intrudes on family day out
Actress' manicure is apparently news now
Newspaper stretches definition of 'matching' to breaking point
Last week it was news that a woman was hiding her baby bump - now it's news that one isn't?!
Reading the 'news' so you don't have to...
Man with obscene amount of money dresses nicely
Man with less money also dresses nicely
Celebrity couple not dressed nicely
Actress wears clothes
Model doesn't
Internet grieves for tragic celebrity death
Internet doesn't give a shit about less famous guy
Woman wears dress
Singer sorry for tossy comments
Breaking news: Women wear swimsuits
Actress gets some shopping in
Shock: Recently separated husband DOESN'T wear wedding ring
Woman wears lipstick
Newspaper makes wild speculation about celebrity's private life
Woman DOESN'T live up to media's narrow definition of beauty
Woman DOES live up to media's narrow definition of beauty
Paparazzi intrudes on family day out
Actress' manicure is apparently news now
Newspaper stretches definition of 'matching' to breaking point
Last week it was news that a woman was hiding her baby bump - now it's news that one isn't?!
Reading the 'news' so you don't have to...
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