The news in brief 8th December 2013

The news in brief celebrity special:

Musician offends the entire civilised world 

Singer wears slutty dress

Man gets off plane

Couple may or may not have wedding plans

Woman changes her hair

Celebrity wears skirt

Crazy singer does nothing out of the ordinary

Celebrity split official now it's on Facebook

Singer removes her shoes

Man takes his shirt off

Woman with disposable income goes shopping

Scandal as woman smokes a cigarette

Pregnant woman wears maternity clothes

Woman walks her dog

Suspected pricks acts like a prick (allegedly)

Pregnant woman doesn't wear maternity clothes

Newspaper stretches the definition of the word 'sexy'

Different singer also wears dress

Paparazzi intrude on family outing

Newspaper will judge you, no matter your bodyshape

Photographers stalk celebrities and their infant children

Media thinks child's Sesame Street bag is our business

Pop-harlot grinds against SANTA CLAUS

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The news in brief 6th December 2013:

The news in brief:

World marks the passing of Nelson Mandela

Weather a bit wintery

Teams are picked for the International Soccerball playoffs

Law applied evenly

Media doesn't fancy England's chances

Religion's bodycount continues to mount

Government not so good with the numbers

Woman does her job

Attention-seeking hyperbitch makes unfounded accusations

Religious fanatics can't stop hand-holding

Celebrity doesn't live up to media's narrow definition of beauty

Man condemned for pointing out the truth

Law not applied evenly

Research states the obvious

Diana Watch 6th December 2013: headline seems to suggest Diana constructed newsreader

Research proves what we suspected all along

Singer acts perfectly in character

US creates more killer warbots (sort of)

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Breaking news

Very old, very ill man finds peace

The news in brief 4th December 2013

The news in brief:

More spending cuts ahoy!

Celebrity cook admits to a bit of the ol' charlie horse 

Wintery weather to hit this winter

Public designs shit flags

'Alleged' killer pretty much confesses (but still pleads not guilty)

Religion's bodycount continues to mount

New consoles go all Teletubby on us

(Santa's going to get the blame again) 

Newspaper celebrates conformity to social expectations

People like their gadgets

Sick old man still not dead yet

Water found on distant planets

Exo-planets have shit names

First world problem resolved

Attention seeking hyperbitch gets buckets of hate mail

Attention seeking hyperbitch for Prime Minister

Family takes naff Christmas card picture

Nudes in brief: Sam Faiers

Diana Watch 4th December 2013: still pretty much dead

No really, bitch stop fucking

Athlete happy that we're happy for him

Blurry shadow probably not a ghost

Work until you're 70 (maybe)

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The news in brief 3rd December 2013:

The news in brief:

Family reuses hat

Woman wears the same dress twice

Celebrity Deathmatch: The Doctor vs Coronation Street

Spies do underhanded stuff

Religion's bodycount continues to mount

Woman comes into some money

Shock: Tall people have deeper voices

Scientists uncover the bloody obvious

Racy advert shown AFTER watershed

Misleading headline implicates innocent shop

Diana Watch 3rd December 2013: sold a dress from beyond the grave

Nudes in brief: University netball team, Gillian Anderson, an eel

Man stares gift horse square in the mouth

Meaningless headline contains no actual information

Attention seeking hyperbitch might have crossed a line

Performers to perform at performance

Shop not guilty

Doctors to gather in London to discuss a cure for homosexuality

Doctors presumably want cure for brown eyes, lefthandedness and feet

Child's private life is apparently our business

Red top paper in the shit

Potty mouthed news pundit suggest parents to fucking blame

Wintery weather forecast

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The news in brief 2nd December 2013

The news in brief:

Outrage as chef accurately describes mascot

Attention seeking hyperbitch slags off Scotland

Wedding party stretches the definition of 'lookalike'

10% of men are shit at Christmas

90% of men who are not shit apparently not news worthy

Diana Watch 2nd December 2013: still making the front page (and dead) 

Bitch stop fucking

Supermarket sells food

Amazon unveils delivery drones

Religion's bodycount continues to mount

Energy prices set to come down (a bit)

Athlete is into the dudes

Croatians not happy with shitty new law

Bulgaria not that fussed about the UK

Judge makes poor decision

Twitter a bit more liberal than real life

Shops create self-fulfilling prophecy

Newspaper columnist suggests it is sometimes okay to sedate a woman and forcibly remove her unborn child...

The nudes in brief: That naked chick from the blurred lines video  

Snow forecast FOR DECEMBER

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The news in brief 1st December 2013

The news in brief celebrity special:

Man with obscene amount of money dresses nicely

Man with less money also dresses nicely

Celebrity couple not dressed nicely

Actress wears clothes

Model doesn't

Internet grieves for tragic celebrity death

Internet doesn't give a shit about less famous guy

Woman wears dress

Singer sorry for tossy comments

Breaking news: Women wear swimsuits

Actress gets some shopping in

Shock: Recently separated husband DOESN'T wear wedding ring

Woman wears lipstick

Newspaper makes wild speculation about celebrity's private life

Woman DOESN'T live up to media's narrow definition of beauty

Woman DOES live up to media's narrow definition of beauty

Paparazzi intrudes on family day out

Actress' manicure is apparently news now

Newspaper stretches definition of 'matching' to breaking point

Last week it was news that a woman was hiding her baby bump - now it's news that one isn't?!

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