Sorry about the brief
hiatus (pun intended) but I felt really poorly after work on Friday and I
thought to myself, ‘hey it’s okay, I’ll just put up a post on Saturday, no-one
will notice,’ but then after a nice day out in the sunshine I think I piled a
dose of heatstroke on top of the ol’ manful and I was fast asleep by a quarter
past nine. So then this morning I work up feeling like death and staring at a
laptop wasn’t going to make it any better, so I went for a hair cut and a cup
of tea and I think I’ve finally found enough motivation to churn out a
The news in brief
celebrity special:
Attention-seeking hyper-bitch upgrading from amusing
distraction to terrifying hatemonger
Turns out there are two sides to every story (not that
anyone cares)
Singer didn’t expect offensive comment to offend anyone
No-one makes a music video like the Hoff
Megastars happy to take their fans’ money
Stop the press: woman has legs
Woman wears dress
Woman conforms to media’s narrow definition of beauty
Cleavage is not news
Breaking news: pregnant woman goes outside
Sure is a whole bunch of stuff not happening at this
Coachella thing
Paparazzi intrudes on intimate moment
Holy shit: couple gets some bits in from the shops
Controversial musician is controversial
Actor has the audacity to not be well-turned-out all the
fucking time
Model caught without makeup
Newspaper likes woman’s clothes
Hold the front page: sports star is sweaty after exercising
(have we just discovered a whole new low?)
Woman wears clothes appropriate to activity
Paparazzi intrudes on family day out
Pro tip: publishing candid photographs of other people’s
kids is FUCKING WEIRD
A dad spending time with their child in NOT news
Diana Watch 2015: apparently you can order a copy of her
will for the low-low price of just £10.00…. still dead.
Nudes in brief: Rihanna
And finally: newspaper fond of the phrases ‘pert derrière’
and ‘oozes sex appeal’
Reading the news so
you don’t have to…
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