The news in brief:
Bacon will kill us all!
Sausages will kill us all!
Please God, don’t let it happen to baked beans too
Pizza giants devise way to bring hot carcinogens to your
door
Controversial changes blocked controversially
Dirty hypocrites quickly change their tune
Impartial nature decides area hasn’t suffered enough
Man’s inhumanity to bears continues apace
15-year-old is smarter than you
Pro tip: stay off the fucking railway lines!
People who live in the countryside side surprised to learn
that people need houses
Religion’s bodycount continues to mount
Study states the obvious: too much booze is bad for you
Man’s inhumanity to man continues apace
Product placement still isn’t news…
Breaking news: people with fewer dependants tend to have
more money
Newspapers start hyping up Black Friday already (since when
did we do this anyway?!)
Virtual Reality headset is pretty fucking awesome
Good Samaritan saves the day
Heavy-handed bureaucrats make life even harder to sick
little girl
Man angry that government didn’t budget for him
Newspapers indulges in a spot of cyberbullying
Nudes in brief: Amanda Cerny
And finally: indistinct blur probably not a ghost
Reading the news so
you don’t have to…
