Sorry about the lack of post on Friday: between the school stabbings,
the multiple traffic deaths and the monster weather about to batter Mexico there
wasn’t a lot to crack wise about, so we did the respectful thing and kept our
fucking mouths shut. It’s a shame because we really wanted to make a smart
comment about cunty politicians making old people wait in the cold…
The news in brief
celebrity special:
Breaking new: man has new girlfriend
Woman has hair
Woman updates social media
Cleavage is NOT news
Woman conforms to media’s narrow definition of beauty
Family breakdown is somehow our business
Stop the press: woman not wearing makeup
Paparazzi intrudes on family day out
Newspaper has opinions about woman’s hair style
Woman wears dress
Woman has legs
Pregnant woman looks a bit pregnant
Woman goes outside!
Woman has the audacity to wear comfortable clothes
Hold the front page: woman buys pumpkin!
Family wears beachwear AT THE BEACH!
Newspaper objectifies human being
Pro tip: cyberbullying is still wrong when the target’s a
celebrity
Nudes in brief: Lana Jeavons
And finally: watch out for that parachutist!
Reading the news so
you don’t have to…
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