The news in brief 30th November 2013

The news in brief Christmas countdown #3:

Norfolk town finally replaces shit Christmas tree

Reading the Christmas news so you don't have to...

The news in brief 29th November 2013

The news in brief:
Attention seeking hyperbitch thinks women can have babies or careers

Attention seeking hyperbitch thinks reasonable adjustments are unreasonable

Small business owner admits breaking employment laws LIVE ON TV! 

Clown epidemic haunts Norfolk

Religion's bodycount continues to mount

Police confirm clowns 'not against the law'

Diana Watch 29th November 2013: police want to quiz super secret SAS team - but can't find them  

Correspondents make sweeping  generalisations

BAH HUMBUG! Head teacher bans mentioning Christmas (until December)

Newspaper misrepresents MP's comments

Black Friday shoppers make you ashamed to be human

Badger culling was a bit hit and miss (mostly miss)

Couple buys house

Girls kinda look like their mum

Women's rights campaigners not happy with equality

SHOCK: Sharing maternity with dad means less leave for mums 

Murdering sub-human bastard scum

Teacher suggests good role models are good role models

Drinking shit loads of cola is bad for you

Genuine Ducktales moneybin for sale!

Nudes in brief: Nina Agdal

Sportsman makes inappropriate joke

Miley whores it up again

We're going to have some weather

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The news in brief 28th November 2013

The news in brief:

After a very trying and emotionally difficult week, I'm taking a night off from The news in brief. Back to normal service tomorrow night. Thank you for you patience.

p.s. Diana's probably still dead...

The news in brief 27th November 2013

The news in brief:

Shame as The news in brief agrees with attention seeking hyperbitch

Attention-seeking hyperbitch mark II thinks she can tell her employees how to spend their money

Outrage as hard up person enjoys a coffee

Business 'helps' economy buy sending jobs overseas

Santa's sleigh breaks down

Scotland is breaking up with us (but it's keeping all our cool stuff)

Diana Watch 27th November 2013: 'still dead'

Skeleton for sale!

Public figure has sense of humour

PM suggests not giving away all our stuff

Thief has a (tiny) conscience

Religion's bodycount continues to mount

Nudes in brief: Charlotte Crosby

SNP promises money for nothing (and chicks for free)

Stupidity's bodycount continues to mount

Boredom blamed for expenses scandal

Police might find Madeline by 'working together'

Breaking news: I've been pronouncing Smaug wrong for 20 years

Newspaper exaggerates unconfirmed speculation

UKIP councillor is (allegedly) a bit of a dick

WHALE EXPLODES!

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The news in brief 26th November 2013

The news in brief:

Attention-seeking hyperbitch sets back women's lib by 50 years

Horrendous c*nt confesses to horrendous c*ntery

Celebrity break-up enters wild allegation phase

America gets a bit falklands-y over islands

Crosswords will never be the same again

People would rather tweet than tango

Religion's bodycount continues to mount

Stadium looks like a lady's intergalactic rocket socket

Couple canoodle

Wolf killed (no not him from Gladiators)

Girl sells virginity AGAIN

Diana Watch, 26th November 2013: 'still dead'

Jobsworth a bit heavy handed

France is pretty fucking awesome

Women a bit keen to check out

Nudes in brief: some bint from Big Brother

UK business u-turns on suggesting it's staff should speak English

Woman wears jewellery

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The news in brief 25th November 2013

The news in brief:

Attention-seeking hyperbitch tells victims of bullying to 'man up'

Attention seeking hyperbitch tells women to stop bleating about equality

Banks in bother again

Businesses make money

Religion's bodycount continues to mount

Popular character has used up all of his lives

Fist bump totally pwns handshake

The world is full of pricks

Internet goes berserk as cartoon character dies

11,000 children dead in Syria, Internet not really bothered

Diana Watch, 25th November 2013: 'still dead'

Free service complies with it's terms and conditions

Hysterical media jumps to conclusions

Newspaper fails to grasp how democracy works

Country opts to move back to the stone age

MacGyver scores an own goal

Post Office customers are dicks

China gets a bit Falklands-y over islands

The nudes in brief: Mathew Wright

Celesbians is a word now

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The news in brief 24th November 2013

The news in brief celebrity special:

Singer has one job. ONE JOB!

Woman wears boots

Man wears the same outfit TWICE

Couple moves house

Consenting couple might be doing it

Women wears BLACK

Couple to get married

Definition of celebrity apparently includes friends and family

Musician likes her daughter

Woman wears WHITE

Pregnant woman wears loose fitting clothes

Consenting couple might not be doing it

Woman photographed not wearing make up

Paparazzi intrudes on family day out

Paparazzi intrudes on two family days out!

Celebrity gets some shopping in

Woman goes outside even though its windy

Man wears HAT!

Celebrity goes outside dressed for the weather

Celebrity goes outside not dressed for the weather

Celebrity goes outside not dressed

Celebrity goes outside

Woman fails to live up to media's narrow definition of beauty

Woman has breasts near a horse

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