The news in brief 13th September 2013

The news in brief too-much-information special:

Peer suggests taking laxatives and sleeping pills at the same time is Bad Idea

Being grossed out so you don't have to...

The news in brief 12th September 2013

The news in brief:

Short-sighted man wears glasses in public

MP presents rubbish argument

Big business wants to make money

Religion's bodycount continues to mount

Video-links apparently not face-to-face enough

Man to get job

NUFC is a cheap date

Non-lethal weapons illegal. Lethal weapons not illegal at bizarre arms bazaar

Emergency first responder sacked for speeding   

160 year old man 'remembers' stuff no-one else can verify

Sexist bishops are sexist

Diana watch, day 6: 'still dead'

Crooks fleece well-meaning gap year students

Apparently UK social housing violates human rights, but 1.2 million living in shanty towns doesn't...

Celebrity looses weight

Woman wears dress

Rubbish flirting on Twitter

Celebrity harlot in news for wearing clothes

Football!

New phone is minor changes to old phone

Baby bump cocaine lump

Tightrope walking dog

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The news in brief 11th September 2013

The news in brief no-shit-Sherlock special:

Life on Mars might be a bit shit

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The news in brief 10th September 2013

The news in brief:

Study is a load of balls

US begrudgingly agrees peaceful resolution might be nice

Religion's bodycount continues to mount

Brit invents radical new bike

Teenage Kung-Fu Exorcist Catholics!

Diana Watch, day 3: 'still dead'

Babyfood study states the obvious

Fat cat pay-off scandal

Everyone has forgotten about Fracking

Huge families cause of overpopulation, surprising no-one

Police officers do their job

Despite media's best efforts, public still generally sympathetic to benefits claimants

People who can't afford more kids should probably think about contraception

200,000 weirdos volunteer to starve to death in the freezing cold millions of miles from home. On TV.

Newsnight calls guest 'boring'

Man still has beard

Newspaper suggests new Australian prime minister is a bit sexist

Celebrity pops out to get coffee

TV pundit oversimplifies complicated issues

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The news in brief 9th September 2013

The news in brief:

Novelty collectable company makes collectable novelty. Daily Mail outraged

Musician gets a bit hurt playing football

Screaming girls threaten death over slightly hurt musician

Religion's bodycount continues to mount

Russia still suggesting peaceful resolution might be nice

Economy kinda recovering maybe

Princess Diana 'still dead'

The US has never any issues with the French. Ever

Twerking is unattractive

Celebrity mother narrowly misses schoolbus

Man has baby

Brits don't cuddle enough

Actress goes grocery shopping

Newspaper disapproves of consenting adults consenting

Satirical news pundit has to look up word 'pillion'

Pop harlot finds a way to be even more naked

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The news in brief 8th September 2013

The news in brief:

Nurses be busy, yo

Tokyo celebrates massive financial burden

Frivolous lawsuit

Old couple go out

Doctors should probably talk good England

Britain suggests you can help people without bombing them

Scientists use twitter to figure out UK's mood

Stout advert yanks nation's heartstrings *sob*

Man gives daughter away at wedding

Princess Diana still dead

Armed guards don't recognise member of royal family

Scaremongering newspaper spreads unsubstantiated fear

Pope suggests bombing people is a Bad Idea

Man attends family event

News website runs advert for legal tax avoidance firm. Irony missed

Juice is as bad for you as aids (or something like that)

Celebrity harlot still making headlines

Hillsborough jokes are NOT funny.  But neither is censorship

Pope calls gay priest to tell him to chill out and be himself

Fish might have died

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The news in brief 7th September 2013

The news in brief Diana special:

Still dead

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