The news in brief:
Short-sighted man wears glasses in public
MP presents rubbish argument
Big business wants to make money
Religion's bodycount continues to mount
Video-links apparently not face-to-face enough
Man to get job
NUFC is a cheap date
Non-lethal weapons illegal. Lethal weapons not illegal at bizarre arms bazaar
Emergency first responder sacked for speeding
160 year old man 'remembers' stuff no-one else can verify
Sexist bishops are sexist
Diana watch, day 6: 'still dead'
Crooks fleece well-meaning gap year students
Apparently UK social housing violates human rights, but 1.2 million living in shanty towns doesn't...
Celebrity looses weight
Woman wears dress
Rubbish flirting on Twitter
Celebrity harlot in news for wearing clothes
Football!
New phone is minor changes to old phone
Baby bump cocaine lump
Tightrope walking dog
Reading the news so you don't have to...
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