The news in brief:
Castle is quite nice
Nuclear weapons are Very Bad Things
Halloween costume causes upset
Bill Gates apologises for 3-fingered salute
Newspaper sensationalises tragedy
Religion's bodycount continues to mount
News doesn't care about Syria any more
Or Fracking
Or Badgers
BBC viewers up in arms about insignificant trivialities
Nazis still evil
Commuter acts like prick on public transport
Supermassive blackhole might do something one day
Lightsabres make long overdue move from fiction to fact
People still smoke
Man grows new nose on forehead
Catwalk models wears outrageous clothes
Woman wears denim
Diana Watch, day 18: 'still dead'
Hero dog
Another banking bungle
Girl meets boy
Reading the news so you don't have to...
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