The news in brief:
Trains delayed by 'wrong kind of sun'
Salvage operation 'going to plan'
UN happy now that people are only being murdered with metal
More stories of 'Good Guys' doing 'Bad Guy' things
Religion's bodycount continues to mount
Economy needs some TLC
Sausages give you hepatitis
Controversial clothing is controversial
Pastafarian allowed colander on head in driving licence photo
Mum of 17 likes having babies
Stealing is a crime
Popular children's cough syrup linked to asthma
Early literacy leads to alcoholism (yeah, you read that right!)
Great granddad meets new baby
We're gonna have some weather
Row over family wedding is apparently news
Celebrity goes shopping
Nigerian scientist 'proves' gay marriage is wrong with magnets
Clown terrorises Northampton
Fashion designer states the obvious
Professional git to run for parliament
Reading the news so you don't have to...
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