Today’s news in brief:
General public fails to grasp the difference between ‘not condoning,’ and ‘shouting abuse at strangers in the street’
Not really sure what else the airstrip might have been for…
Mad suggestion that the law applies to everyone equally
Pro tip: you can save the planet without being a dick about it
Terrorist group moves from villainy to cartoon supervillainy
Religion's bodycount continues to mount
Irony apparently lost on MPs
Periodic table now even harder to memorise
Economy pretty fucked
Public transport nightmare as miserable fuckers drag themselves back to work
Billionaire straight-up plans to build Skynet
Dummy spitter says sorry like a big boy
Study states the obvious: education somewhat important
Racial double-standards
Man’s inhumanity to man continues apace
Crazy evil genius set to conquer mankind
Copenhagen is too hardcore for Facebook
Thieves were only supposed to blow the bloody doors off
Scooter prick
Nudes in brief: Ashley James
And finally: Tom Daley’s pan is pretty metal
Reading the news so you don’t have to…
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