The news in brief:
Film not very good
Nerds are ever satisfied
Man doesn’t learn from all the ‘don’t be a cunt on the
Internet’ stories
News outlet engages in a bit of cyberbullying
Blurry shape in the sky probably not aliens (but there sure
are a lot of these stories at the minute)
Man’s inhumanity to man continues apace
Not all human beings are despicable thunderturds (rest in
peace Stephen)
Woman happy to ruin the film for everyone else
Optimus Prime is looking pretty buff
News website confuses product placement for news…
Economy a bit less shit
Newspaper forgets to use the word ‘allegedly’ in its
headlines again
Nudes in brief: Ellie Goulding
Study states the obvious: criminals do illegal stuff
MP suggests ghoulish solution to practical problem
Political correctness gone mad
Remember: all men are monsters and all women are objects of
pity
‘Ghost-like vision’ probably not a ghost
Religion’s bodycount continues to mount
Clowns are terrifying monsters
Birds kinda look alike, maybe
People will complain about anything
Diana Watch 2014: her butler is in the news again. She’s
dead.
Reading the news so
you don’t have to…
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