Today’s news in brief:
Celebrity bum play is NOT news
But did anyone ask the horses permission?!
Economy still pretty ropey
Great news: skiving is good for you
Internet full of lies
Mass transit system told to buck its fucking ideas up
Man’s inhumanity to man continues apace
Racoon just wanted to get home…
‘Pro-rape group’ inexplicably not hate speech
Religion’s bodycount continues to mount
Baby’s miracle escape
Shop decides to stop robbing off women
Breaking news: groundhog behaviour not actually linked to weather patterns
Jurassic cock
Bastards forget how to person
Don’t be alarmed, but somebody broke the Internet
China suffers commuter nightmare
Newspaper condones theft…
Vampire attacks probably not at all supernatural
Love at first byte
Nudes in brief: Kim Kardashian
And finally: snowboarding baby totally nails it
Reading the news so you don’t have to…
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