We wrote this earlier in the day, before the news about Harper Lee broke. If 2016 could stop claiming all the coolest people, that'd be swell
Today’s news in brief:
Drunken monkey rampage
Zuka virus makes condoms okay. But not aids, overpopulation, drought, famine....
Government continues to squeeze the frail, sick and disabled
Teenager unable to say when limbs expected to grow back
Company begrudgingly lets you do what you want with your own things
Smackdown: Internet vesus the FBI
Bigoted twat continues to offend the world
Man's inhumanity to man continues apace
And not one of you fuckers thought about putting the dolphin back in the water?
Breaking news: consenting adults sometimes enjoy sex
Religion's bodycount continues to mount
Ferengi rule of acquisition number 34 sadly applicable to Earth
Pro tip: get your gas appliances checked regularly
Archaeologists have a wheelie good time
Bureaucracy: 1, Human decency: 0
Reality TV sinks to a new low
Bucket of frightened snakes unavailable for comment
Study states the obvious: sugar is bad for you
Stars in their bras: Gigi Hadid
And finally: ketchup was already gluten free
Reading the news so you don’t have to...
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