Friday and Saturday’s news in brief:
Human race still pretty shit
Economy marginally better than it was (in the 1920s)
Government remembers that the North of England exists
We’ve totally had some weather
Army sent to sort out Cumbria (it's about fucking time)
Europe apparently can't learn from history
Man's inhumanity to man continues apace
Business doesn't give two shits about it's employees
Bigots surprise no-one
Religion's bodycount continues to mount
Product placement still NOT news
Beatles still not on Spotify
Collector probably has more money than you
Mad suggestion that politicians should act like grownups
Man really likes whacking it
Pro tip: positive discrimination is still discrimination
Bishop suggests TV not actually evil
Scaremongering speculation
Attention-seeking hyper-bitch swears she'll be back
Hungry enough to eat a horse? Well now you totally can!
Nudes in brief: 80s Madonna
And finally: Lenny Henry and Ainsley Harriott are NOT the same person...
Reading the news so you don't have to…
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