In the spirit of the season it's The news in brief Nativity special:
Bureaucracy: 1, Common sense: 0
Bethlehem pretty fucking crowded 
Study states the obvious: more people should have filled out the census online
Iron age public transport terrible
Virgin pregnancy not at all suspicious 
Husband ‘totally cool with it’
Motel trade booming
Economy still pretty shit 
Religion's bodycount starts to salivate in anticipation 
Political leader plans a bit of infanticide 
Really bright star spotted in sky
Daily Mail says starlight causes cancer
Three Asians walk a really fucking long way
Wise men rubbish at buying gifts for children
Shepherds wish they'd heard of Twitter 
Breaking news: not everyone is an asshole 
Housing crisis sees migrants sleeping in cattle sheds
Donkey unhappy at always being portrayed by worst actor 
The Guardian, despite not being printed for nearly 2000 years, somehow makes it about Diana 
Nudes in brief: Kim Kardashian (probably) 
And finally: a baby is born 
Reading the news so you don't have to… 
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