Today’s news in brief:
Hey there news-fans-with-short-attention-spans, The news in brief is taking it's Christmas holidays and you're going to have to fend for yourselves for just a little while. We’re not here next week at all as we sweep out the office and empty the attention-seeking hyper-bitch traps.
The week after that, we're going to be popping crackers and eating mince pies and the Summary Squirrel is going to be running the show (with a The news in brie and any links that strike our fancy) to keep things ticking over until we get back.
We'll be back on the 28th of December, fatter, poorer and more sarcastic than ever with the same bullshit you've inexplicably been reading for nearly three goddamned years…
In the meantime, here's this week's celebrity special:
Woman wears bikini
Paparazzi intrudes on family day out
Couple caught interacting
Newspaper eyes up a sixteen year-old…?!
Cleavage is not news
Two dresses are a little bit similar
Woman wears dress
Man conforms to media's narrow definition of beauty
Woman conforms to media's narrow definition of beauty
Side boob is NOT news
Woman updates social media
Wild speculation
Family's breakdown somehow our business
Woman caught going outside
Breaking news: family spends time together
Megastar can afford nice things
Newspaper objectifies woman on the phone
Business man caught doing business
Nudes in brief: Patrick Stewart
And finally: wind affects famous people's hair too...
Reading the news so you don't have to…
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