The news in brief 30th August 2015

The news in brief celebrity special:

Breaking news: man spends time with his son

Paparazzi intrudes on family day out

Newspaper publishes candid photos of someone else’s kids

Stop the press: man has a few drinks at party

Woman caught not wearing make-up

Woman wears dress

Friends go out together

Woman conforms to media’s narrow definition of beauty

Woman updates social media

Married couple go on holiday together

Woman has legs!

The news in brief doesn’t give a shit about Big Brother  

The news in brief doesn’t give a shit about the X Factor

Pro tip: dressing up as a Nazi is pretty uncool

Read all about it: family goes for a walk

Woman wears clothes appropriate for climate

Woman caught wearing comfortable clothes

Man has lunch

Man carries his child’s teddy bear… how is this news?

Cleavage is NOT news

Woman wears hat

Nudes in brief: Chloe Goodman

And finally: we’ve always though that the paparazzi taking random photos of famous people was pretty odd. We’ve always thought take taking photos of famous people’s kids was even odder. But taking a photograph of a celebrity and his mate’s kid… that pretty fucking upside down.

Reading the ‘news’ so you don’t have to…

Tomorrow’s a bank holiday and that means you’re reading your own goddamned news. See you Tuesday!