The news in brief:
It’s official: Red Bull does NOT give you wings
… and the Desk Sergeant asked ‘why the long face?’
Celebrity furious the terms and conditions apply to him too
Attention-seeking hyper-bitch continues her mission to
offend everyone on Earth
Ebola situation remains pretty fucking hairy
Newspaper indulges in a bit of cyberbullying
Man’s inhumanity to man continues apace
Bureaucracy 2: human decency: 0
Pro tip: sending the victims to prisons is NOT cool
Awesome teen kicks all kind of arse
Study states the obvious: comfort eating is bad for you
Tragic story has a bittersweet ending
Flagrant fear-mongering
Religion’s bodycount continues to mount
Surprise racoon
Weather a bit interesting
Cereal box prizes are getting out of fucking hand
Indistinct, blurry, shape probably not a ghost
Building no longer an accidental death-ray
Nudes in brief: Heston Blumenthal and Jeremy Clarkson?!
Medieval morality doesn’t approve of peaceful protest
Driverless trains set to strike in 2023
Civilised nation lawmakers decide to return to Stone Age
morality
And finally: Hitler’s Tinder account doing very well
Reading the news so
you don’t have to…
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