Today’s news in brief:
Within the space of two hours, the same newspaper shared two conflicting stories: one saying you should totally skip breakfast fatty, the other saying breakfast is the most important meal of the day (but eat two little ones instead of one big one.)
We take this as conclusive proof that you can prove anything with statistics and you shouldn't pay attention to anything you read. Especially on the Internet.
If you don't hear from us again, it's because we died from eating nothing but coffee and deep-fried cheesecake for breakfast.
In other news:
Europe still feeling pretty ropey
Bigots take to the Internet in droves
Politicians use tragedy to try and score points
Religion's bodycount continues to mount
Retired man has zero shits to give
Virtual donkey causes virtual chaos
Missing boat shows up
Nazi hate-engine gives Skynet a run for its money
Man's inhumanity continues apace
Asshole gets what he deserves
Bard loses his head
Nudes in brief: Alessandro Ambrosio
And finally: man has incredible hangover
Reading the news so you don’t have to...
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