Today’s news in brief:
Ship builders have no idea how the Internet works
We totally voted for Boaty McBoatface
Teabags will save us all
North Korea is really mad at the ocean
Religion's bodycount continues to mount
Bank holiday traffic forecast surprises no-one
German nutjobs apparently not big fans of history
Soldiers test out Harry Potter tech
Pro tip assholes: rabbits are not disposable items
Man's inhumanity to man continues apace
Newspaper learns about gross baby bottles months after everyone else
Newspaper demonises immigrants
Newspaper demonises the homeless
Pizza helps win the war on terror
Skynet is eyeing up your job too
Outraged morons furious about things that don't affect them (or anyone else)
Study states the obvious: insomnia is pretty fucking awful
Diana Watch 2016: how many monuments does one woman need? Also still dead.
Stars in their bras: Gemma Atkinson
And finally: big business hopes to make billions from your misery…
Reading the news so you don’t you don’t have to...
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