The news in brief 3rd July 2015

The news in brief:

Study states the obvious: you’re getting old

Britain still having trouble with the French connection

Medieval morality still treats women like shit

Church surprises no-one

Your kindergarten wants to know what now?!

Budget will save us all!

Religion’s bodycount continues to mount

Pro tip: you can be right without being a cunt about it

Man’s inhumanity to man continues apace

Product placement is still not news

Spider armada!

Advert is hilariously offensive (or is it offensively hilarious?)

Nothing solves a problem quite like victim blaming

Parents forget how to parent

Police might have been a little bit racist

Mad suggestion people should be paid enough to pay their bills

Political correctness gone mad

Bureaucracy: 1, Common sense: 0 

Economy still pretty shit.

Budget will kill us all!

Breaking news: it’s fucking hot out

Nudes in brief: obligatory shots of young women in bikinis to demonstrate that it’s fucking hot out. 

And finally: couple married for 75 years die in each other’s arms

Reading the news so you don’t have to…