The news in brief:
Doomsayers and fear-mongers trending
Another near-miss nana
Girl probably not a ghost
Woman maybe not wearing underwear is NOT news
Snooker is inexplicably still a thing
Woman commits career suicide
Two hour orgasm sounds good on paper
Religion’s bodycount continues to mount
Shock: teenager good at lying down
Perhaps you should try using condoms?!
Russia
situation upgraded from ‘squeaky bum time’ to ‘pretty fucking uncomfortable’
Internet trolls are pretty shitty
Giant rats will kill us all!
Singer gears up for nil points
Bunny-sized deer are pretty darn cute
Political correctness: 1 Commonsense: 0
Nudes in brief: Rihanna (again)
‘Uniform’ is not a hard word to understand
Overzealous security guard
Man’s inhumanity to man continues apace
Holidaymakers outraged that whole country’s society didn’t
stop just for them
Bureaucratic jobsworths strike again
Token gesture taken out of context
SatNav not responsible for you being stupid
Diana Watch: 2014: probably still dead
Reading the news so
you don’t have to…
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