The news in brief 14th October 2013

The news in brief:

Mild euphoria as the News in Brief returns

News pundit has forgotten the meaning of 'sleep'

Despite a week off, religion's bodycount continues to mount

Diana Watch, day 36: 'still dead'

Health and fucking safety

High-fives are totally dangerous

Celebrity baker speaks common sense 

Outraged Daily Mail readers miss the point

America still closed. Please leave a message with Australia and they'll get back to you.

Republicans really must hate health care. Brits and Canadians baffled.

Woman goes for jog 

E-fits kinda look like Chuckle Brothers

Reykjavik has lots of writers

Headmaster has stupid ideas

Nation wonders 'who still uses paper invites anyway?' 

Kate Winslet looks nice

Opinions divided - Parents of missing girl kinda responsible?

Crimewatch Special:  seems family didn't spend a lot time together on family holiday  

Crimewatch Special:  how long does it take to eat tapas?

Crimewatch Special: average sized man with brown hair carried child near crèche

Old lady's heating bills soar

Woman in warm coat shocker

Celebrity may have been air brushed

MP needs 'sensitivity training'

Jimmy Savile responsible for every crime since 1926


Reading the news so you don't have to...