Today’s news in brief:
Dummy spat 3662 miles
Fluorescent hate pumpkin can dish it out but can't take it
Man wants to get them out and measure them
Pro tip, assholes: ignorance is not measured by IQ test
Hordes of men still obsessed with enforcing dress codes that have shit all to do with them
Priest sure has a lot of money
Police intercept a metric fuckload of drugs
Castle still cheaper than a house in London
Man's inhumanity to man continues apace
Country needs help working out if executing the mentally handicapped is a bad thing or not…
Mad suggestion that gay couples can be great parents too
Religion's bodycount continues to mount
Political superpower miffed about pointless talent show
Bronze Age dude probably didn't have too much to say about Netflix
Skynet probably hates you too
Nature can totally kick your arse
Study states the obvious: there’s porn on that there Internet
Nudes in brief: technically everybody featured on Porn Hub
And finally: town to build a place for goths to play
Reading the news so you don’t have to...
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