Today’s news in brief:
Turns out the government's been feeding us bullshit
Faithful manservant possibly psychotic
Teen goes all John Steed over unsuspecting burglar
Religion's bodycount continues to mount
Pro tip: men can get depression too
Legions of men inexplicably keen to tell women what they should wear on their feet
Trains getting shitter by the day
Newspaper shamelessly exploits victim
Allegedly intelligent human being needs told not to shoot fire at her face
Economy still pretty fucked
Apparently making people hate their bodies is big business
Man's inhumanity to man continues apace
Scaremongering bullshit
Queen planning to get a pizza from the deli, a few cans and a couple of DVD. Maybe.
Supply and demand inexplicably still a surprise
DWP makes another questionable decision
Breastfeeding mothers still catching shit
BBC asked to stop flooding airways with tired old crap
Study states the obvious: fruit is good for you
Stars without bras: Kate Hudson
And finally: attention-seeking hyper-bitch unsurprisingly voices contrary opinion
Reading the news so you don’t have to...
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